


Crying it Out

by frk_werewolf (wolfelements)



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Challenge fic, Gen, Gryffindor Tie, M/M, Remus needs cuddles STAT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 02:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7462482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfelements/pseuds/frk_werewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was amazing how much emotion one item could do. (Post-OotP)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crying it Out

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Gryffindor Tie Challenge on lunar_fics (now defunct).

He didn't want to do this, but at the same time he refused to allow anyone else to touch the room. Harry had long ago closed himself off. Remus, though he felt terrible for thinking so, was thankful. He didn't need Harry in here with him, watching him break down and actually cry.

It was dark and moldy in there, the result of being locked up for over four months. Four months of walking past the door, refusing to look at it. And here he was, about to open it. To allow sunlight to stream into a room that should not hold sunlight. It's owner could no longer see the sun, let alone feel it's warmth. Why should his room be allowed such a privilege?

Remus steeled himself, holding in every emotion that wanted to surface. He hadn't cried, not even once. He wouldn't allow himself the pleasure of feeling. The door opened with an ominous grating, the result of rusted hinges on old wood. Inside, he could make out the dusty bed and dresser. The only window was covered in thick curtains, so not a single ray penetrated through. 

He quickly lit the bedside lamp, squinting his eyes as the bright light made contact with the room. He could see that the bed had never been made. Sirius' pajamas were in a puddle on the floor. Remus tried not to look at them. 

Instead, he grabbed the box awaiting him in the hall and walked over to the dresser. He carefully picked up the picture of Harry and his friends, wiping at the dust residing on Harry's face before setting it in the box. The second picture was of The Marauders and Lily. James and Lily could be seen in the background, pressed against each other and partially hidden behind a tree as they locked lips. Sirius had no shame in showing his love in public and could be seen giving Remus a lecherous grin while his hand disappeared down Remus' pants. The werewolf hid his face in Sirius' neck, skin bright red. Peter could not be seen, and Remus had no doubt he was hiding in the frame.

Taking a deep breath, Remus placed the picture in the box next to Harry's. Setting the box on top of the dresser, Remus carefully slid the top drawer open. Inside rested Sirius under garments, things that could be picked up by Molly later. Remus continued down the drawers until he reached the last.

Remus breath caught in his throat. Falling ungracefully into a sitting position, Remus slowly pulled out a thin box. He fingered the name tag: To Remus, Happy Birthday. Biting his lip, hoping it was enough to keep himself from crying, Remus lifted the lid. Inside rested a gold bracelet with the name 'Moony' etched into it's surface. 

Taking a deep breath, Remus pulled the bracelet out of the box and slipped it on. He refused to look at it. He refused to cry. Tossing the box to the side, Remus turned back to the bottom drawer. There wasn't much else. Bits of spare parchment, a broken quill, a chocolate frog, and a tie. Remus' hands paused when he reached the soft, silken fabric of the Gryffindor tie. It could never be said that Sirius didn't like the best, his tie had cost as much as Remus' robes.

Stripe after stripe of gold and red appeared as Remus pulled it carefully out of the drawer. He stared down at it, almost as though he didn't know how it had gotten there. As his sensitive nose picked up the lingering scent of Sirius, engraved into the tie that he once wore daily, Remus discovered a lump forming in his throat.

He could remember Sirius' shaggy hair -- which had been more of a statement against his family that fashion in its self. He let it rest at his collar, long enough to meet the tie. Remus could remember the first time they had undressed each other, in the heat of passion. Remus had left the tie on, using it to pull Sirius closer to him.

Remus blinked away his thoughts and looked down at the Gryffindor tie, which was now wrapped around his left hand. This was too much. Remus' shoulders shuddered from the pain crossing his heart. He had been fine. He was cleaning out his lover's bedroom, gathering the things worthy of keeping. He was so close to surviving it all. 

It's amazing how much pain one small item can create.

Remus gripped the tie tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning white from the force. His shoulders wouldn't stop shaking; his breath was getting labored. He didn't want to cry. He was a grown man. He had been through so much death and pain, how could he allow a tie to break him down? 

Remus pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them and resting his head against the fist holding the tie. The colors were becoming blurry, but Remus didn't acknowledge that it was because he was crying. He didn't pay attention to the tears that where dropping steadily.

"You left me." The whisper was broken, caught in his throat. 

Unable to stop himself, Remus finally allowed the tears to come. He cried silently, his forehead pressed against the gold and red fabric of Sirius' tie.


End file.
